Oopsies

I’ve been talking about having fun in church a lot lately. To catch up any Johnny-come-lately readers, I am in favor of having fun.

There are so many impediments to finding fun in a church. The persistence of

traditionalism and the self-seriousness with which we carry ourselves get in the way. But another reason why it can be hard to have fun in church is for the same reason it’s hard to have fun anywhere. Having fun is seen as a childish endeavor, and so when people display the effects of having fun in public, they are sneered at for their immaturity. Having fun can be really embarrassing.

What if no one else is having fun? What if I have a weird laugh? What if I’m not good at things? Will people see me if I look silly?

Those are all very good points. I appreciate you bringing your concerns to me.

A big part of my career is to stand in front of groups of people and pretend that I know what I’m doing. Sometimes, I pull it off. But there is an inevitable risk to doing anything in front of people, and that is failure. It’s mispronouncing words. It’s losing a train of thought. It’s forgetting to turn the microphone off and singing full-blast. It’s telling a joke that dies harder than anything in history. It’s about realizing that people don’t necessarily care about the same things I do.

One of the central tenets of my ministry is this: “Be ok being embarrassed.”

That has taken me years to get here and I still have decades left of growing in that realm. But if I focus on every time I look like an idiot, then I’ll never get anything else done. It doesn’t mean I can’t be embarrassed. I just need to remember that it’s ok if I do something embarrassing.

A story: In my first year of ministry, I was doing the call to offering at the Christmas Eve service. I had the brilliant idea that I would sing (Uh-oh) the final verse of In The Bleak Midwinter, “What shall I bring him/Poor as I am/If I were a shepherd/I would bring a lamb/If I were a wise man/I would do my part/Yet what I can I give him/Give him my heart.” Good stuff, right? I love it. But I was nervous to do it. It was me putting myself out there in order to try to communicate something that I felt was valuable to share. I got up to the microphone and introduced the call to offering as the last verse of Lo How a Rose E’er Blooming, and proceeded to sing what I intended. But I mixed up the names of the two hymns and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Do you know who else couldn’t stop thinking about it? ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. The only reason a human being remembers this story is because I was embarrassed by it.

I’m past that now. The number of times I’ve said something inane, incoherent, boring, factually wrong, is innumerable. But if I kept worrying about being embarrassed, then I would never try to do anything new for fear of failing.

But I want to have fun. And if I’m worried about being embarrassed, then I’m never going to have any fun.

Thanks for allowing me to be embarrassing. Thanks for being willing to do embarrassing things. Thanks for taking this ministry seriously, but not taking ourselves too seriously.

Peace,

Jeff

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If you’ve ever worried about looking silly or making a mistake, you’re in good company. At Twelve Corners Presbyterian Church, we believe faith is richer when we can laugh together, learn together, and embrace the occasional “oops” along the way. Come be part of our community this Sunday at 10:00 a.m. for a meaningful time of worship and togetherness; where all are welcome, just as you are. We're located at 1200 S. Winton Road in the heart of Brighton, NY.